phoning it in

I'm trying to make a commitment to writing. As close to every day as possible. This doesn't seem hard...in theory. However, in practice, I sort of hate "checking in" regularly. I can plumb the depths but it seems to take a toll. I'm not sure if that's actually true. I haven't ever taken myself to task in terms of daily writing. Here we go. I'm not saying it's a 365 project or anything, but I'm willing to give it a whirl. What a puss. Right? Here I am--shouting from the mountain tops about WRITING A BOOK and I can barely write a daily paragraph. Shit. Am I as lazy as I'm beginning to appear? Laziness is one of those qualities that I have always suspected, even known about myself but have not fessed up to--not until now. OK. So I haven't fully realized my potential, dug in and finished. I lack follow through with the slightest hiccup.

You get the idea.

So, I would like to write a collaborative book asking the question, "Are you where you expected?", to women of a certain age in the hopes of discovering a community of voices that serves to calm, enlighten, and possibly show a commonality that cuts right through, stringing us all together. Just what is that thread, through grief and loss, crippling depression and unprecedented joy, the inner stirring of a passion unexplored, the gnawing insomnia of a life unlived--missed opportunities,  mistakes that haunt you, divorce, trauma, where are we in FAMILY life, loss of identity or finally feeling contented...and on and on, depending on the voice.
It's loaded. That's the point.

I love stories. REAL LIFE. I want to hear and savor the stories of the women living in this time. I want to feel connected. Is there anybody else who feels this way? I dream of feeling the presence of so many, giving the parameters, giving me permission to live on my own terms. I would like help navigating by the very nature of sharing in each other's inner-lives. To see where you've been and where you are now. That's what I crave.